Later, when I finally made it home -- thanks to the kind brothers I've mentioned before -- I discovered that I had a choice. As tears threatened to take over, I realized that I am likely to be without a car indefinitely (again.) I also realized that buckling to pressure wasn't the approach I wanted to take with this most recent challenge. It was then that I knelt down to pray. When I did, a song began singing in my mind. It's not a new song. In fact, it's one I've loved for quite a while, but had I forgotten about it.
The song? "Into the Fire" from The Scarlet Pimpernel.
Listening to this song, I realized that the words and spirit of it perfectly captured how I hope to face my challenges -- especially this one. I quickly pulled the song up on Spotify and, with tears welling in my eyes, clicked the "play" button. I sang along softly at first, trying to focus on the words. When the song was over, I hit repeat and listened again. I sang a little more loudly with each time I listened.
It wasn't an instant fix, but -- twelve or thirteen listens later -- the spirit of the song no longer just buzzed about my heart. It entered my soul and lifted my own spirits. I began to feel that I could face this challenge with a smile on my face. I felt at peace with my world. I began again to see God's hand in my life. I'm not sure why, but this is a part of my path. There are things I will learn that will help me to be my best self. Perhaps, there will even be things that help my little ones as well.
I don't know how things will turn out. There are some details I'm still not sure about. At the same time, I know it will turn out. I will take it a step at a time. I will trust that I will be able to meet my responsibilities. I will have faith that, when the time comes, doors will open for me to again have my own, functional vehicle. In the meantime, I'll plaster a smile on my face, a bit of peace in my heart, and walk through the fires that must be battled to reach my goals.